If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
