She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
