someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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