Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
