fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
