How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
