I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.