why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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