I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.