I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.