i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.