Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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