Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
