I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize