Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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