what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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