Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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