every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
