Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
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He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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