Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
