Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
