white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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