some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
