The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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