Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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