He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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