Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
