I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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