were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize