chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
