I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
