im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
