I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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