I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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