I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
