Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize