Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
