He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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