There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize