I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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