the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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