I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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