yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
