You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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