that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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