I CAN MOONWALK!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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