David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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