Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize