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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
