so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
