i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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