i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
