Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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