I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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