My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
