You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
