I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
