Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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