Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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