I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
40s are totally the cure
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
