He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
