Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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